Being a girl, I want to look my best. I’ve been having an egg every week or two to condition my coat. I’ve heard everyone saying how glossy I am. I heard the human talking to her friends about grooming. I think she was talking about some kind of spa. I was deciding which bag to pack, and what accessories to take. I was excited. And then she got the manky old clippers out that she uses on the big and small human, and took me into the garden and pinned me to the grass in what can only be described as a hold lacking in any kind of dignity.
How embarrassing. Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it did. She did it all over again the following day. There is still talk of taking me out there again to do my head. What, precisely, she plans to do with my head I honestly couldn’t say, but it sounds like a nasty business to me. Still, strangers are admiring me, which never gets boring.
Human let me off the lead, I think on purpose yesterday. I ran like I can’t remember — running for ages, and further than ever. I played with Skip and chased him all over the park. Skip looks like he could bulldoze his way through anything, so wouldn’t be concerned about a little thing like a door, or a brick wall. I’m not even sure he knew I was there. But I was. He’s really into his ball. It made him foam at the mouth.
Today I played with Bertie. He’s a one-eyed dog. What is it with one-eyed dogs. Should I be worried?
Hey, before I go, I’ll tell you what whiffed. Dog sick. I was lucky enough to find some. Judging by the hideous cries of my humans, I will decline to tell you anymore about it, but rest assured, that was a highlight of my day.
I’ll probably be bald the next time I write.