When I first came to live here, I must be honest and tell you that I was a bit snappy. Well, I’ve had a confusing first couple of years, so you can’t blame a girl for getting a bit tetchy around strangers. However these strangers, my humans, are shaping up pretty nicely. I’ve decided to stay. I’ve been getting raw bacon as treats when we’re in the park. What’s not to like?
At the park, I like a dog called Skip quite a lot. I played with a nice dog called Bruiser this week. One eyed dog is also a favourite. Frankly, if I like the whiff of a dog, then I would be happy to spend my time with them. Girl dog. Boy dog. Somewhere in between dog. I can’t say I understand what marriage is, but if it means sharing kibble and not freaking out at the sight of each other in the morning, then I do not see why it’s taken some humans so long to allow anyone to marry anyone. Funny business if you ask me.
Here’s me with my human in, what I’m sorry to say, our first but not last selfie. She’s ok. Nice whiff, and pretty decent treats. I wouldn’t marry her though.
It’s been a fairly slow couple of days. The humans increased by two on Thursday. I’d been on my own for a while and then had the ones they call Nanneee and Oh-Pah turn up and sit with me as though we did that everyday. We don’t do that everyday. Why would they act like that? Still, I had a good whiff, and they gave me snacks, so I have no real complaints.
A terrible thing keeps happening. Every now and then, a monster with a long nose appears from the room where the humans are collecting towels and clothes, and balancing them in wobbly piles. They anchor the monster to the wall with string and then wrestle with its long nose while it feasts on all the bits of toy I’ve chewed up and distributed across the carpet. This is a terrible business as I am saving these pieces for later. Long-nosed monster must know. I’ll have to find somewhere new to hide my tiny treasure. Luckily the small human must have been scared too, as big human told him to sit out in the garden with me while she wrestled the monster.
The filthy food has NOT made a return, thank goodness. I’ve had lots of different things, including an egg. Human talks about it making me all glossy and shiny. I’m not sure if that’s important but I know I like eggs. But not as much as hotdogs.
That empty bag of filthy food went in the bin today. There wasn’t much left this morning so human was kind enough to chop up some hot dogs to make it up to a decent amount for breakfast. I scoffed the lot.
I love hot dogs.
I had a lovely walk in the park this evening. There were naughty dogs with no string attached. One was smaller than me. I chased it. It made a change to fit a dog’s head in my mouth. My head has been in other dogs’ mouths lots of times. The whiff in some of those mouths makes my eyes water.
I had a little playtime with a new friend I’ve met a few times. She’s a lovely big dog. She has one eye. I don’t know why. I thought it rude to ask. Instead I ran circles around her and pounced on her blind side, so she doesn’t see me coming. There was no whiff, but I overheard the human saying she’d just had a bath. I thought she seemed a bit moody.
I listened to the humans talking about taking off my string. But they still don’t. I wonder if they ever will. I think they’re worried I won’t come back. If the human gets a new bag of filthy food tomorrow, they may be on to something. I love hot dogs. Give me more hot dogs.
Well hello. You smell nice. I am Daisy the dog, and I join you on this crazy world of uninvited opinions to share with you my ponderings. I spend so much time laying around in the garden or on the sofa, a dog gets to thinking about, well, the bigger questions of life. Like when is human EVER going to open the door and give me my breakfast? Or, what’s that whiff?
Sometimes the whiff turns out to be me.
I went out for three walks today. On the last one with human and the two small ones that sometimes bicker, I saw a dog that looked like a loaf of bread. I didn’t get close enough to get a proper whiff.
I didn’t get a good whiff of anything much actually. The humans must all be in a bad mood as we were all on string, too short to get close to each other. They must all have had bad days.
Dinner was filthy stuff, but that bag of dinner chunks looks as though it’s nearly empty. So, if I keep leaving my food, human might get me something different to eat. My breakfast comes out of the same bag? What’s that meant to be about? Idiots.
I barked at the neighbours who were making noises of their own in the garden this evening . Sadly, I was the only one that thought it was hilarious.
I’ve lived with my humans for just over two months now. There are four of them. One of them seems to be attached to a small screen. Two of them feed me. The other big one sits at home all day staring at a bright box and speaking to humans who don’t seem to be there. Funny business if you ask me.
These past two months have been ok though, so we’ll see it goes. Let’s see what food human buys me, when that bag’s empty at the weekend.